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I don't typically like to brag, but I really used to be able to pound down shots in my day. I'd even chase them with a nice, frosty cold one.
"Tortorello the tank," used to be my old college moniker, in case you were wondering.
As a 62-year-old Shift Supervisor at Bob's Discount Furniture, I don't get to do much partying these days. However, I am a bit of a weekend warrior, if I do say so myself.
I still, occasionally, get the urge to booze it up every so often. My recent divorce doesn't help in that regard, so I've taken up drinking a little bit more as of late. I know what you guys are thinking, but no, I'm not depressed. Actually, I'm happier than I've ever been.
Since I've been going out with the boys from Bob's, my life has been a real friggen' hoot. As a result, I've been buying a bunch of ridiculously funny shot glasses to really get my goof on with the guys. I know I sound corny, but I can't help it—boys night out is where it's at.
I'll show you some of my favorite funny shot glasses—along with some of the one's I've received as gifts—and you can be the judge as to whether or not they're actually funny, or I'm just a tired old man trying to re-create his glory days.
I'd like to think it's a combination of both.
Novelty Prescription Pill Bottle Shot Glass by Rockin Gear
Now this thing is a friggen' hoot. At my age, I have to begrudgingly take a whole bunch of different pills for the array of little ailments I have. Well, I'd like to consider a shot of whiskey one of my prescriptions—especially after dealing with annoying customers at Bob's all day. Fun shot glasses bring your personality out, and this one is no exception. Hopefully, however, I'm allowed to start taking my "medicine" on the job.
Set of Four Funny Shot Glasses by MarDav 4Life
For party animals like me, one shot glass clearly isn't enough. Rarely, if at all, do I rip shots without any friends by my side. So for a little four-in-one action, I decided to go with this gift pack of funny shot glasses. As a fan of Michael Scott's antics in The Office, I was sold at the "That's What She Said" glass, but there were a few other ones that tickled my fancy. A middle finger to the liver, one that says "Bottoms Up" written upside down for you to read while you're slugging one back, and "What the f*ck happened last night" rounded out my dream team of ridiculously funny shot glasses. Really classic stuff right here.
Spin the Shot by Barbuzzo
This isn't necessarily one of your run-of-the-mill ceramic shot glasses, but it certainly deserves to be on this list, as it is quite the hoot. If you're bored of just ripping shots until 1 AM and puking, then you might want to add a little fun to your night. This "Spin the Shot" is a drinking game you'll love to play, perfect for any graduation party, special occasion, or even just a casual night of pregaming. A play on the classic "spin the bottle," this adult version of the game might be a little less nerve-racking than kissing your crush when you're seven years old. But then again, that might just be a product of the liquor...
'I Solemnly Swear That I am Up to No Good' Shot Glass by Artisan Owl
At first, I couldn't think of where I've heard this catchy phrase, but I knew it related to me in one way or another. Then I remembered it was from Harry Potter, which instantly made me want it 100 times more. This pack of two identical shot glasses come imprinted with the infamous slogan; perfect for a night of heavy drinking and mischief. I don't necessarily need a shot glass to let others know of my devious nature, however—they can see for themselves when they see a 62-year-old man face down in a gutter due to over-intoxication.
'You Are My Favorite Asshole' 1.75 Oz Shot Glass by Mixing Spirits
Look, none of us are perfect—I've yet to open up my restaurant, and I might be on the verge of alcoholism. We're all a-holes in our own respective ways, so what better way to articulate than via this hilarious shot glass. Granted, it's a bit smaller than your prototypical 1.9 oz shot glass—it holds about 1.75 ounces. However, if you're looking to buy custom shot glasses—that are also quite hilarious— on the cheap, this is certainly a great option. It's certainly a good product to use if you want to drink some of the craziest shots you need to try.
'F**k my Liver' Shot Glass by Capital City Commerce
This is sort of similar to the shot glass from the four pack, but instead of giving my liver the middle finger, I'm articulating it through my elegant words this time.
Or, at least, the words of Capital City Commerce.
Either way, there is no doubt that my lifestyle is a little rough on one of my marquee internal organs. Since I'm not going to actually do anything about it—at least lifestyle-wise—I might as well just get a hilarious shot glass to cope with my unhealthy habits, right?
'I Don't Give a Sip' Novelty Shotglass by FeatherFine
No one likes a pun more than me. As one of the corniest men you'll ever come across, nothing tickles my fancy more than a good, ole fashioned play on words. That's why I couldn't contain my laughter after coming across this "I don't give a sip" shot glass. This glass speaks to me on a different level entirely—after I'm drunk, I really don't give a shi... errr... sip. If you're looking for shot glasses with designs that are more witty than they are aesthetically pleasing, then this is the perfect glass for you.
Very punny, indeed.
Fit Shaced Shot Glasses by ThisWear
This glass might be my favorite of the bunch. I think we all know how our brains function after a few shots of liquor—incorrectly. Mixing up words like this, is, technically, one of the least of my worries, but that doesn't take away from the fact just how often it happens. In this case, it serves as a clever way to put a curse word on a glass without technically cursing. The best part about this particular glass is, well, it comes with two of them! After all, fun shot glasses bring your personality out two-fold, so having two of them only makes logistical sense. I think. Sorry, I just had two shots.
Golf Ball Shaped Shot Glasses by Golf Shots
In my older years, I've taken up golf as my number one hobby. It's not necessarily because I love the sport, I just look for an excuse to drink during the day. I'd be the first to admit I suck at golf, and I don't think the whiskey helps. Instead of actually golfing, I think I'm just going to start caddying for my friends. I'm obviously going to need a surplus of alcohol to even have a marginally good time doing so though, so drinking out of a golfball-shaped shot glass seems like the way to go.
Golden Girls Shot Glasses by JUST FUNKY
I don't care who you are, if you don't think the show Golden Girls is funny, then I don't ever want to associate with you again. I kid, but I cannot understate how much I truly love that show. Whether you're going to a bachelor party, graduation party, or special event of any kind, you are going to absolutely love this set of shot glasses. Unless, of course, you don't like Betty White, which would pretty much qualify you as Satan.
Ridiculously funny shot glasses are a staple of any true party animal's drinking career, so unless you want to be some lame-o and drink expensive bourbon out of a rocks glass, then you should probably pick up at least one of these glasses sooner rather than later. And if you're not a fan of hard liquor (understandably so), you might want to try one of these 10 funny wine glass sets instead. They're a real friggen' riot!